What does the mention of Christmas bring up for you? Mary Christmas or the Grinch? There’s generally two camps with regards this holiday period and we either love it or we loathe it.
The Mary Christmas love it gang, revel in experiences such as visiting Santa Claus in Lapland, basking in sunny climes, spending sacred time honouring Christ’s alleged birth, family time with nearest and dearest and enjoying the giving and receiving of gifts. For the Grinch group this holiday marks emotional pressure, compromise about whom to spend the day with. Arguments about money and conflict between partners over access to kids. The holiday doesn’t vibe with this tribe.
My post is specifically designed for the Grinch’s out there and if you commit to using my simple tips, I guarantee you’ll enjoy a different experience this year. Remember Einstein’s definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. We need to change things up if we want different outcomes.
- If someone is intent on getting their own way at the expense of yours they’re either under the age of 5 or have complete disrespect and disregard for your needs. If their only care is to get what they want, irrespective of how you end up feeling, at this point you might want to question why this person is in your life. (unless the person is under 5.)
- Activate your listening ears and listen to understand what your loved ones want vs. listening to construct an answer. Is there a happy ground for you to both meet on that sees no one feeling compromised and manipulated but instead both feeling emotionally abundant? The Trump/ Clinton US political debates are a perfect example of how not to listen.
- You are allowed to wave goodbye to anyone who doesn’t respect your boundaries without apology. Be clear on what you will accept and tolerate and express it so all are clear. I have a personal rule about pessimists and gossips, I politely decline their fabulous invitation graciously. No thanks.
- Don’t take anything personally. Everyone is fighting some emotional battle. Know this to be true. People are able to display compassion and empathy relative to how they are able to interpret and understand their own feelings. Emotionally dysfunctional people need more support. It’s not you, it’s them.
- Express your needs and know it’s not your responsibility to explain your reasons to anyone but yourself.
- Some things are best not to spread too thin; yourself and nutella.