How utterly fabulous, is the high-speed Virgin train from Wilmslow to London Euston. Delivering me direct from bedtime stories with Pierce to cocktails at my favourite London club, Hertford Street, in just over two hours. Right into the arms of my gloriously generous friend who commented on how beautiful I am. Wowzers! My revelling was cut short by her completion of my compliment as she looked in the direction of my clothes: ‘..but you’ve given up.’. Given up, what the f***!
With my several years of behavioural training I’m versed to understand people’s perceptions are contained within two camps; either projections/assumptions/judgments revealing what’s unresolved within the vendor or feedback with the intention of empowerment and acknowledgment to an other. As a woman on a mission to grow behaviourally, while my emotionally fashionable group jived to Calvin Harris’s latest ditty alongside Prince Harry, I delved into my two-step emotional checklist to begin my growth process.
- Listen to understand vs. to formulate what to say next.
My friend was offering me feedback and has my best interests at heart. If she would have been projecting, having a conversation in a club to clarify and avoid any misunderstandings is not an efficient place. Wait until you’re both in a quiet and calm environment.
- Is there a resonance/truth to the words spoken that can lead to a better understanding of self?
Granted no one is awarding me a prize for most fashionable apparel choices, but have I given up? No! My intention is to feel well groomed and I vary my favoured colours of navy, grey and black to assist with my embodiment of elegance and simplicity. (As do Angelina Jolie and the late Steve Jobs!) I’m content to buy from a wide range of quality brands as long as they’re housed under one roof or available online. Cue Harrods, Hoopers and TKmaxx. Do I care about the labels in the clothes? They simply serve to speed up my buying process, which is not my favourite way to spend time. My aim is for them to be of high quality and to fit me perfectly.
So to the original point of giving up, this is my definitive list, of ways of being, to give up:
Drive by unsolicited opinions, Judgement of others, Jealousy of another person’s designer wardrobe or anything, Using shopping and spending as a diversion to avoid addressing inner turmoil.
The good news? When we give something up we create a recalibration opportunity. In the place of the above we make room for acknowledgment, acceptance, love, understanding and compassion. The TRUTH of our being and who we are.