comment 1

If you have nothing nice to say; zip it.




What do I want for Pierce and I this Christmas?


Dear Santa Claus, this year for Christmas I’d like blue skies, sunshine and to be surrounded by a whole bunch of new fun experiences.


I repeated this simple, powerful coaching question to myself as a neon coloured flash featuring the bright lights of Las Vegas and LA sizzled before my eyes and goose bumps appeared on my arms. My sign and cue for action. I promptly logged onto BA’s website and booked us two tickets. A call stateside to my best friend and cousin, to block out some time with them and all done. Festive merriment manifested. Wowzers. A simple enough process. A three-week Christmas trip planned and booked exactly as I’d envisaged.


As instinctively as I’d made these travel plans, I’d also simultaneously filtered through my direct responsibilities to ensure they’d all be cared for and content over the period. Pierce’s nanny is to fly to her other home for the holidays and Super, our frenchie will stay with my mother who’ll celebrate with her local family. Tick, tick, tick.


Queue the Christmas police.



‘..Another holiday! LA is so tacky, why would you choose to holiday there?.. Came the remark from one. ‘..How are you affording that?! it’ll be an unbearable flight with a five year old alone’..’ From another. ‘..Isn’t it cruel to leave your mother at Christmas when your father only recently passed? Christmas is for families..’


A selection of unsolicited story filled opinions/beliefs in response to my Christmas choice. This got me to thinking about the opinions of others that can sometimes hurt our feelings or worse inspire us to change our plans or views. Was I inspired to cancel my trip? No to the nonsense noise! By believing their opinions are relevant to me is wrong. They’re the opposite. They provide a wondrous window to their view of their own personal world. In coaching it’s called projection. If I would choose to alter my dream Christmas plans to accommodate others opinions, I’m communicating to others and myself, that I’m choosing to live their life instead of my own. That my life choices and needs are secondary to theirs. How do you envisage that working out for me?


  1. Opinions/beliefs are relevant to whomevers mouth they were uttered from. E.g. the ‘..Another holiday?!..’ person was likely wishing they were going on holiday and perhaps not in a financial position to do so. Their words were reflecting their current situation and weren’t relevant to me.
  2. Only listen or value the opinions/stories of those who boots you’d like to be wearing and lives you’d like to be living.
  3. Be you!

I’m a qualified life coach and passionate about inspiring change in already brilliant people.  If you have something you’d like to change, email me:


1 Comment so far

  1. Roger Perry

    I hope this comment is nice; l am trying to help you.

    Please do not write “… for Pierce and I..”.
    This is ungrammatical.
    The correct English is ” .. for Pierce and me..”.
    Use “I” for the subject of a sentence, and “me” for the object.

    Your mistake is not uncommon, but still wrong.

    Roger Perry

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