This month I had a cancer scare. The proficient teams at 52 Alderley Road, private clinic in Wilmslow, organised me to meet with a suitable specialist and the following day I was anesthetised for my invasive surgery at the world famous Christie hospital in Cheadle. A shock.
My reaction to my childhood helped shape me to deal with the life skills required to overcome this sort of adversity. Coupled with a series of hard knocks in my adult life that tested my resilience. The responses to my cancer challenge from those I surround myself with were varied. A cacophony of sounds, from wanton wailing to screeching silence through to a mute mumble. It got me to thinking about the whole nature versus nurture debate. Most people at some point in their lives will experience either a death, a divorce, infidelity, bankruptcy or even abuse. So what is the magical ingredient that sees some of us rise to the adversity challenge like a phoenix from the ashes, while others crash and burn in a flood of feelings and prescribed Prozac? Are we born with coping strategies or can we learn them?
I believe a positive mental attitude can be learned and isn’t necessarily something we’re born with. Yes, we live in a world where ‘violent communication’ is the norm. Judgment, blame, propaganda and deceit, form the type of behaviour that fills the story lines of our nations favourite soaps. Read the fear inspired tabloid headlines. So how do we learn to be positive if our environment is as I’ve described? Happiness is an inside job. Forget money, friends, lovers and everything external to ourselves. This is about stripping bare and starting by delving deep inside of ourselves to figure what floats our proverbial boat. I’ve made tough choices to have the positive happy attitude I possess. I don’t watch the news and instead read an abridged version courtesy of The Week. I’m super selective about whom and how I spend my spare time and I free people from my life I deem toxic. I meditate daily to cut through the relentless daily noise and I spend much time alone to recharge. I can’t bear gossip and am allergic to negative people. Works for me as I like and choose to feel happy. It’s contagious and happiness is my reason why.
Did I feel happy when my beloved father died, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer, my ex was caught having multiple relationships simultaneously, I lost my life savings or was vexatiously accused of child abduction? Of course not! I sobbed and my heart shattered into sea-sized shards of sadness. But I was positive all these lessons learned were leading me closer to my daily goal of inner happiness.
To learn to cope with and overcome adversity, commit to focus on your reason why. Why? I’ll share more about my favourite question in the forthcoming months.
I am a qualified life coach and passionate about inspiring change. If you want to change something about your life contact me.