comments 2

Secret Social Tourettes.

I am in love with people, I find human behaviour a most incredibly fascinating preoccupation and can while away hours and days questioning and considering  my and other people’s responses and actions to every day events.  But I have one related problem and I’m wondering how many other people are also afflicted with my self diagnosed disease. 

We Brits are an incredibly diplomatic nation wouldn’t you say?   But have you ever been immersed knee-deep in conversation or debate, chatting merrily away with either family, friends or work colleagues and someone asks you a question?   Doh, yes I hear you respond, every day of the week!   Alright just a minute (smart ass.)  You see, my secret social tourettes problem has already reared its head, it’s begun.   I want to know how measured your response is to this persons question?  Are you able to think on your feet and to deliver a well-rounded and informed answer that sees you as someone they’ll  come back to,  time and time again for advice and counsel?  Or do you shoot from the hip and like to tell it as you think it is, regardless of bruising feelings and the dastardly ego? 

I’d like people to think of me as the former, but I do have this niggling secret burning desire,  that is starting to itch really bad.  I just want to let rip sometimes, to tell people exactly what I think, a bit like a verbal diarrhoea  I guess. I dream about forming my response, only on the first thoughts to enter my mind.  But it’s not very British is it, there’s almost an America bullishness attached to this style?   Can you imagine the responses if we all chose to answer with the first thing that came into our heads?   I’m picturing  the News of the World headline: ‘ A George Bush style pandemic is rampaging through our nation’s schools.  Human muzzles are to be supplied for children in selected counties to cope with the debacle.’   I would love it!

I am always well versed in what I truly want to say, as in childhood, I would simultaneously run parallel conversations in my head and duly receive a  whack to the chops if I responded with my less thought out response.  In fact this has occasionaly filtered through to my work life and still to date my directors are having to cut filming to give me the obligatory hand across the throat gesture in response to some of my suggested pieces to camera.   

So just for today I plan to indulge and out myself, I’m going to share a recent conversation, with someone who shall remain nameless, but nevertheless I adored enough to engage in conversation with, and hope they don’t read my blog as it contains my two answers!  The one I responded with and the other I wish I had the guts to!  If you’ve any clean problems, do send them to me, I’d love to help?!

Friend to me:

So I’ve been dating my multimillionaire, devilishly handsome and super intelligent boyfriend, for almost a year now and besides Christmas and Birthday presses, I just received my first and only surprise present from him.  I excitedly ripped open the pretty wrapping and ribbons to find a mood tracker mouse mat.  Is this a dumpable offence?  I’m worried he’s having an affair.

1/Me to friend: option 1. the considered response

It really is the thought that counts and for a busy work orientated chap to dedicate the time to buying a present for you, it’s a proclamation of their devotion to you.  To find something as ‘unique’ as this gift took thought vs. cash and I’d say you have a well-rounded genuine chap here.  Think yourself lucky!

Option 2; au naturel

Consider yourself lucky, at least Ebenezer Scrooge isn’t going to send you into debt should the relationship become more permanent.  That withstanding, it’s not all about the thought so I suggest leaving strategically placed ‘gift ideas’ strewn around your casa.  Failing that find yourself another Sugar daddy you money grabber or worse still get a job!



  1. Dave

    Bottom line… if its love, they should both know it without question, and without the need for gifts to prove this. The occasional gift should be a bonus surprise and, with the exception of say an engagement ring, shouldn’t be a supposed ‘proof of love’.

  2. Dave "Euston"

    I reckon the guy is unfortunately one of those self-centred and far too occupied with himself types. Its not about the cost involved but about the the thought and the frequency of showing someone you truly care that matters. I often do make small purchases (and occassional extravavgant ones) as a method of showing her how much i think of her…especially as we live apart. It doesnt have to cost the earth and in my experience its true that its the trhought that counts….but keep them coming thick and fast!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s